(Banner photo by Ursus Wehrli)
I am the chillest person you will ever meet.
I am so laid back that I almost fall out of my chair daily. I do not carry stress in my shoulders and neck, nor do I grit my teeth.
When I start something, I always finish it because done is better than perfect.
I am so Type B that I don’t even know what it means to be Type B, nor will I put unnecessary effort into looking up what it means.
I don’t enjoy winning, I just like playing the game.
I meditate multiple times a day…not to manage stress, I genuinely enjoy the quiet of my own mind.
I don’t worry about pleasing others. Their feelings, behaviors and emotions are not within my sphere of control.
I am so patient that sometimes I forget what I’m even waiting for.
I don’t see mirrors of myself in that neurotic George Costanza character.
I am the best at accepting my imperfections and flaws.
I do not seek to be the best at anything. I understand that being “the best” is both subjective and fleeting.
I do not need affirmation from others to validate that I am talented. I know in my heart that I am awesome.
I don’t waste time and effort trying to influence situations at home and at work. I accept that I do not have the ability to control 99% of things.
I have never been weighed down by deep and intimate failure. These were just opportunities to learn.
I am not often told I should relax and learn how to be more leisurely. Making time for myself comes naturally.
I am never too hard on myself, set the bar too high or set unrealistic expectations for myself. I give myself a break.
I give myself a break.
This is satire written by a recovering perfectionist who’s learning how to live better. For others who struggle with aspects of perfectionism, I leave you with this quote: